I know I do and I think I need to ban the word
It's stupid (the thought, not the dress!) as according to my amazing husband it looks fantastic, but I think husbands are programmed to say that. But, I always do this to myself. I spend hours meticulously making something and then at the end I pan it, and see only the crap bits. Yet, if I am kind to myself I will see that I a) drafted the whole pattern myself b) worked with difficult fabric c) made a brand new, cool dress to wear to my work conference next week and d) executed some really good skilled work such as exposed zipper, princess seams/yoke design etc.
So, on the basis of this, 2013 has another thing added to its to-do list.
So far I have:
1) The Pledge: Not buying clothes only making them
2) Make my first quilt
3) Better my knitting
4) Ban the word
5) which means love myself more and be kinder to myself AND be proud of myself. I made my wedding dress for pete's sake yet I still doubt myself
6) See each garment as a stepping stone to the master seamstress I want to be - my hero being Susan Khalje
To achieve all this I am going to think of Cupcake. No, not gorge myself into a food coma and deny I need to do anything, but the awesome Cupcake Brown. If anyone needs a great book to read you MUST check out:
A teenager, forced into a world of abuse, rape and neglect, Cupcake Brown grew up to become a full time crack addict and alcoholic, with her life literally at rock bottom and close to death. Yet incredibly, she now works at one of the top law firms in the US. Her story is just mind-blowing. I haven't stopped thinking about this book and how nothing is impossible. She came from nothing, had nothing, yet a little hard work each day has put her through education and law school. It's inspirational, she is inspirational. I heartily recommend this memoir. I have printed her picture and stuck it on my fridge as an incentive to really push for what I want - and to remember you can't just be what you want overnight, it takes hard work and dedication and MISTAKES. So I am going to embrace the mistakes (not just sewing, but in my life as well be it bad reactions, negative thoughts, frustrations, work etc etc) and see them as these wonderful, insightful, helpful things that will build up a big beautiful 'patchwork' of experience to draw upon.
If you're wondering what I'm on, I just had a big yummy vegetable balti and a little slurp of Cobra beer. Curry in my belly always makes me feel good :)